and think that I am incredible

that I am elastic girl

that I can grab a bag of baby goldfish from 500 yards away

and that my boyfriend can lift cars and stuff

in an inflammable leotard

we pop three bags of microwave popcorn, in succession,

and he says, “mrs incredible is the best character pixar has ever created” like the earth is flat

like butter is a carb

like I don’t have a root canal appointment on Tuesday

like dinosaurs built the pyramids

like death is inescapable

though mr incredible does save that guy from committing suicide

though that guy does not want to be saved from committing suicide

he wanted to commit suicide

which is, like, dark for pixar

and I’m thinking of mr potato head and dory and flick and boo and

when sully and mike got exiled to the human snow world, I was so depressed that I stopped listening to showtunes and eating pre-cut brownies and wanting to have a baby

because why would I want to carry a fetus inside of me

when andy is just going to give his toys away anyway

when he will grow out of them

and I hate the song “you’ve got a friend in me”

because who has a friend in who?

is mrs incredible my mom?

can I run fast if I really want to run fast?

like, if I close my eyes and decide to stop being lazy

do I have more power than I realize?

the wifi goes down when the bag guy, who is only bad because mr. incredible was mean to him, shoots down the plane with mr incredible’s family in it

and my boyfriend says, “oh well, I guess we’ll never know what happens”

when the wifi comes back on, we watch football

real football, european football not american

though I want to know what happens to the superhero family

in the matching inflammable superhero suits

because my family is not a family of superheroes

when I read this back, I’m disappointed the only capital letter is “I”