Hello, it’s me. Nancy Kerrigan. You weren’t alive when I won silver at the Olympics, but that was a really cool thing that happened. It's a good story. You should look it up.
In 2 miles, turn left at the fork in the road. Not the metaphorical fork in the road, but an actual fork in the road. While it is the metaphorical kind of fork in the road, too, I suppose. When you’re looking at it, however, you’re going to notice the actual silver fork in the road. It’s taller than you are. In your headlights, it gleams. It might be one of the most beautiful things that you’ve ever seen. You will be driving too fast to look at it carefully, and this is why you need to turn left. If you turn right, nothing that is supposed to happen will happen. I’m not saying that you’ll die if you turn right, but things will be different. I can’t say that they’re better than if you go left. That’s actually a very personal preference, but you’re meant to go left at this turn. There are many times in my life that I think I could have gone right at whatever forks in the road that I came across (both metaphorical and physical), and I think they may have led me to gold. But you and I, we do better with silver.
In 1 mile, turn left at the fork in the road. Isn’t it a miracle of the modern era? Someone thought of a joke and made a joke. Would you like to hear a joke? Knock Knock. Who’s there? Turn left at the fork in the road. I don’t actually know where the right will lead. I know that in the sense of the future, but not the actual location. It probably leads to a farm or something. I hate these country roads. I prefer driving on highways where the roads are not winding, and the options are limited. These country roads make me feel much more alone than anything else. Even when I am on the ice, I know that there are always eyes on me. No one is watching you drive down this road. You are alone, but I suppose you have me – Nancy Kerrigan. This is why you paid for Waze Plus Plus Extra Plus. Why did you pick me? There were better options. People with recognizable voices and people that you like. You don’t really know me. I also don’t really know you. We’re strangers together sharing this moment. Soon, we’ll share the miracle of a joke that became a real thing. I don’t know what the seven wonders of the world are anymore, but the literal fork in the road should be on the list.
In .5 miles, turn left at the fork in the road. When you first learned to drive, you were afraid of left turns. You didn’t know how to make the decision of when to go and when not to. I know that you’re still hesitant, but it’s late now, and there’s no one there behind you. You can turn left easily. I, Nancy Kerrigan, believe in you. All my life, people believed in me. I was talented and pretty. Worth believing in. I was too young for all that belief. There reaches a certain point when belief just becomes unmet expectations. I couldn’t be perfect. I couldn’t stand at Disney World and pretend that it wasn’t the corniest thing I’ve ever seen. I stand by my comments. I stand by winning silver and not gold. I stand by everything that I’ve ever done. I also stand by your ability to turn left. You're talented, pretty, and worth believing in. If you'd like more inspiring comments, you can sign up for Waze Plus Plus Plus Extra Plus.
Turn left at the fork in the road. Good job. Keep going. Stay on this road. Don’t think about everything that brought you to this fork in the road. Stay in the moment for a while. Think about the literal fork in the road. It was beautiful. It was maybe your favorite piece of art that you’ve ever seen. You haven’t seen much art. I, Nancy Kerrigan, have seen a lot of art. The literal fork in the road is also my favorite piece of art. Don’t think about the future that this road will take you down. Think about the fork. Stay on this road. I, Nancy Kerrigan, know the directions.
