Scared of maps, I draw a bath
and think of a very weird thing, a future
child I’ll change and draw baths for
and feed and, surely eventually, disappoint.
God they’ll say, looking at me
you don’t understand anything.
There’ll be good stuff, too, but going
episodic on it now feels silly
Today I walked through an aisle of car seats
and thought, I’m not ready.
I stop the water. William Bronk never had
biological kids, but he was like a father
to countless poets who came to his
place in Hudson Falls, where he would cook
beautiful and complex meals and where
he took care of his mother and where
he died in his living room having written
a small poem about art.
It doesn’t mean I’ll never be
ready, I’m just not ready now. But I have time.
There’s a rhyme between I shall go
and prepare a place for you and
I will learn how best to take care of you
given human knowledge, its sorry
state, my forgetfulness, my forgetfulness
in red, my forgetfulness in green
which two things I cannot tell apart
like the dewfall, its individual beads
on one blade of god’s grass.
