- I got my first period
- It was heavy, not symbolic
- The astronaut pizza was a slice of foam core
- The pads they provided were astronaut diapers, NASA-issued shame
- I had to weigh myself before going on the space simulator
- The space simulator harness murdered my vagina
- The gift shop was out of astronaut ice cream
- Cramps like God’s hand reaching into a black hole to yank out my potential
