I’m an anteater. I eat ants! It’s slow labor, much like my novel in progress. I titled it even though it’s not done: Ant-I-Matter. It’s a campus novel! The title is a pun about ants and physics. The main character, a physics professor with her own lab, weeps while she does experiments. She tries to understand black holes, which is so hard, and also her husband is cheating on her with a car hop at a Sonic drive-in. She liked the lime slushes but not anymore. I don’t know much about physics. I do know ants. I eat so many every day. Some taste tangy, others taste like nothing. I use a typewriter to write my novel. Each letter I type is black and small. Some, like the k or the m, have legs. The letters are like ants. I keep my ants in a jar beside my typewriter. I don’t have a lid for the jar, so I shake the jar if an ant crawls too far up the side. I could find a lid, but I’m too busy writing my novel! At this rate, the novel will never get done, which is a shame, because at the climax, the main character discovers that black holes are caused by giant space ants trying to climb out of the glass jar of god. God, a sadist, has a lid for his jar but won’t use it. He prefers to watch the space ants, and the earth ants, and the anteaters, struggle.