bubblegum / vodka / bubblegum vodka / a wonderbra / a body before anyone ever touched it / brass knuckles / a pre-gentrification map of my old neighborhood / a sense of wonder and curiosity that doesn’t want me dead / a gas station dick pill beyond the purview of the fda / a fresh start at 28 / $40 cash / a bandolier of freeze pops / a freezer filled with ammunition / a stranger’s subwoofer / bass that could drown me / dopamine that remembers how to make itself / matted hair, pref. mine / fingers, interlocked, pref. yours / an indiscriminately-picked handful of pills from a stranger in the backyard / of a party they barely let us into / a gut feeling and a logical conclusion that don’t hate each other / longer lines on my palms where it counts / a dream where i remember how to land a punch / a dream you don’t barge into / to walk home in the dusk when the streetlights come on / to climb out the window before they turn back off / the donut shop that stays open between them / your face in nautical morning twilight / a sprinkler bath / to climb the roof and watch the city wake up / a twelve-pack of doomsday e-vites / a state fair stuffed creature / won fair and square / my childhood home’s landline reconnected / a red flash on the answering machine that gets my blood pumping again / the most patient operator in the world / who tells me everything i missed since then / tells me who went looking for me / friends that don’t wince at a half-hour walk / even when the lights come back on / a pool filled with pink amoxicillin / a big brother that holds me underwater / a fortune teller that says i’m gonna live forever / a fortune teller that tells me not to hold my breath