Today is the thirteenth and the sky from the swimming pool is like a movie, upside down, where the bird comes into frame at just the right moment. 

I try to float but my legs sink. Not like in the movies when they float in contemplation in some run-down roadside motel. My legs sink but my head is still more or less floating and I think about the sky being like in a movie and also about how wildly exciting it must have been to learn how to swim. First, off with the floaties and then brave enough to put your head underwater, and then – goggles! – oh the joy, the world that opens up. And I wonder about the last time I learnt something that made me wildly excited and not just apprehensive of failure like yes yes but what if my legs sink, what then? 

Three birds fly in and out of frame and I still suck at floating but I try. I want so badly to be the protagonist of this movie, even if it’s crappy, even if it’s a really crappy movie.