All Small Pete ever wanted to do was fish, which drove his industrious neighbors crazy. (With envy?) They worked to have all that they wanted, including jet packs to take them to castles in the sky . . . while all Small Pete had was time to fish. (He lived in a hole in the ground.) Despite a lifetime sitting by the river, rod in hand, line in water, Small Pete had never caught a fish. But he didn’t care because—technically—“fishing” did not require the actual catching of a fish. The townspeople disagreed, insisting that fishing required the end result of a fish. Finally, they’d had enough of Small Pete’s lazy affrontery. They arrested him and charged him with temporalcide (“killing time”). And sentenced Small Pete to death. But it was customary to grant the condemned man’s last request. And all Small Pete wanted was to fish. You can find Small Pete by the side of the river, rod in hand, line in water, and not a fish in sight.
Ken Pisani is a novelist, playwright, comic book creator, screenwriter and member of the Writers Guild of America West. (Ken needs to learn how to focus.) His debut novel, “AMP’D," published by St. Martin’s Press, was a Los Angeles Times bestseller and finalist for the Thurber Prize for American Humor. If you like Ken's sentences, please buy his new novel, “The Defection and Subsequent Resurrection of Nikolai Pushkin." It will please Ken and Small Pete very much. kenpisani.com @kpsmartypants.bsky.social
