Your eyes are two (2) brown orbs
and your breasts are two (2) brown spheres
and your butt is two (2) half (1/2) spheres;
described thus, you are essentially a lot of
spherical items balanced on a pole
like a doughnut tower. Full of love jam,
lust jelly, and adoration sponge.
I promise to love you conditionally
based upon certain criteria of fidelity and respect;
these terms have been agreed upon verbally
and also tested in hypothetical scenarios
to ensure that our value systems align.
However it would be helpful to put these into
writing so we may refer to them at a later date,
if they should ever come into dispute.
For the sake of the security of all signatories
I suggest we add in some terms regarding
financial liability. This does not indicate
any intentions on behalf of either party, which
of course I understand to be of the
purest nature, yet the seasons may change
and some action of yours may invite me
to write a scathing St Vincent Millay-lite
poem at some future date.
May I remind you, dearest, that
I am human mercury. Silverbeast,
with deep-rooted fangs,
slinking through mammalian dens.
I have one (1) heart which I bequeath
to you, and one (1) body
(as far as I know—this is not likely to change
unless current technology advances
very rapidly and my current salary
increases at a similar pace).
One last note; do remember, love,
that I moult my seasonal feathers
upon your lightest touch. Do
remember, love, that we are delicate
animals, barely more than mewling
kittenish heaps. Do remember, love,
that we can soothe all present stings
with thoughts of a future, together.