You may be entitled to financial compensation if you screamed yourself hoarse singing Dashboard Confessional, but it didn’t get you any closer to kissing Tommy Brooks behind the bowling alley.
You may be entitled to compensation if you memorized every word of every track, perfected your imitation of Avril’s inflection singing along to Let Go, but you still looked stupid wearing a tie with a t-shirt.
Financial compensation is due to anyone who spent long afternoons in dark basements watching boys play Call of Duty and Lethal Alliance because a movie tricked you into thinking those same boys had tender hearts just waiting to be nursed.
You may qualify for financial compensation if a boy wearing his dad’s blazer over a My Bloody Valentine hoodie tossed endless bangs out of his eyes and stared at the sea soulfully while telling you about his girlfriend in Juneau.
Our operators can tell you if you qualify for compensation. For example, if the new kid at school invited you to a basement “rave” that turned out to take place only after a youth group meeting at the non-denominational church.
You are guaranteed compensation if you took the purity pledge along with everyone else just so you could hold the new kid’s hand in the promise circle, then watch him take the stage to whine Christian Blink-182 covers: “I praise you/and I’m not sorry.”
Significant compensation is waiting for participants in a class action lawsuit, especially for those who were there when the power went out at the dance right in the middle of “Misery Business,” and the whole crowd kept dancing and singing in unison. Compensation will be sent first to those who, in the elation of the dance and the permission of the darkness, parted the boy’s bangs and kissed him, and later he told everyone he was sure it was Jessica from Geometry.
Our team of highly qualified lawyers are standing by to take your calls.
Call us. You are not alone.