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Pam and I stand near the showers with our hands clinging tightly to the belt around our robes. She takes off her glasses placing it inside the cubby. We look away from one another while speaking. The owner comes up and explains that we should hang our towels on hooks and refrain from washing our hair, The masseuse will wash it for you. I tell her we're a bit shy and she pulls her top down baring her own breasts, You have nothing to worry about! I wonder if that's what my mother's nipples look like. It occurs to me that I have never seen her naked. After the shower, my masseuse comes to get me and again I see my mother. She's wearing a bikini top with a name tag that says Lena. I worry that my tattoos will offend her. She instructs me to lay face down on the table and begins scrubbing my body. I stare at her feet through the face cradle. Her pink flip flops are cute and practical. At the end of my treatment, she wraps the robe around my body with a firmness. I think about how my mom used to tie my shoes for me. Lena turns around: there are roses on her lower back. I wonder if she got them in her twenties like I did. Does her daughter know about them? What I've always wanted to know is if my mother has ever been bad. What I've always wanted to know is if she's ever done anything for herself and no one else. A desire to hug Lena washes over me. I want to say, Thank you for taking care of me. Pam and I start blow drying our hair. The owner comes by again and discreetly brings out a bottle of Chanel lotion. She smiles, For you two because you look like my babies.