When You want to Smell like You've Been Eating

Draw a bath with birthday cake bombs, light a cotton candy candle, wipe watermelon lemonade lotion all over your donuts and hot dogs and private pickles and french fries; carefully apply the Claire's exclusive Cheetos nail polish set, dip your dots in lip gloss or Jolly your Rancher in balm, drink down a Dr. Pepper Chapstick if it tastes good. Step into a Scratch ’n Sniff stickered long tee, slide on the scented socks with the beaded Pop Rocks, spray a spritz, a big ol' mist, and waft in your imported Whopper cologne. Frame broiled like real fire to give you the beef patty you deserve.

 

 

Serving Dessert at a Funeral

After the standing, kneeling, sitting,

when everyone pinches on paper plates,

kneeling, standing, snacking, and says

may light shine on her forever; then says that,

they could go for something a little sweet,

but the shortcakes are too sunny,

chocolate chips too corny,

macaroons too cutesy,

brownies too nutty.

Rhubarb sounds too funny, and absolutely not

key lime—no, no nothing that jiggles!  

What then is little and sweet enough to eat in the mourning?

                                                            Muffins, maybe.