After Mathias Svalina
In the beginning God wondered
where everything that wasn’t
there yet came from, but
God couldn’t think of a good explanation
so they just proclaimed I did it.
And the first human asked When?
And God said Just now.
And the first human became
aware of themself and
instantly got a terrible headache
and said Ow. Jesus. Why would this exist?
And God said You just need some ibuprofen
And the first human said Oh yeah, but then
they remembered ibuprofen didn’t exist yet,
and also that they weren’t supposed to be a human yet.
Just as they were turning back into a singularity
a melody got stuck in their head. The one from
the song that was playing in the grocery store earlier.
The annoyingly catchy one that the first human
was ashamed to admit they liked.
They racked their brain to remember the lyrics
but their brain wasn’t there because they
were a singularity now.
So then they expanded
into hydrogen and helium and
all kinds of other elements and
stars and planets and
all kinds of living organisms
and then they became aware of themselves again
and decided they liked being called human.
This time there were a lot of them
and they would get cold and hungry sometimes.
And sometimes when they saw each other
cold and hungry, they would wrap each other
in blankets and make each other soup,
but sometimes they wouldn’t help each other
at all. They’d just say you should work harder
as they ate food grown by their underpaid employees
on land they inherited after their great grandparents
stole it from someone else.
And sometimes the first human who was cold and hungry
would get so angry at the first human who was hoarding wealth
that they would spend all day fantasizing about beating
them to death. They would get so angry they’d forget
to drink water. Forget to love themselves.
Forget about the time their partner surprised them
on a Wednesday night with a bouquet of their favorite flower—
pansies—and some Chinese takeout. Forget about how
for a few hours they both pretended the rent wasn’t due
the next morning, and binged The Good Place on Netflix
and made love and fell asleep on the couch.
After all that forgetting the first human
fell to their knees and cried out God
I feel so lost and confused, please
help me remember.
And God said
This is the story of a girl
who cried a river and drowned the whole world
and while she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her